Redneck Church

Mark Beymer passed this along...

• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... when the pastor says, I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering, five guys and two women stand up.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... opening day of Deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir is known as the OK Chorale.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred to as branding.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... high notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... people think rapture is what you get when you lift something too heavy.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the collection plates are really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... instead of a bell, you are called to service by a duck call.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the communion wine is Boone's Farm Tickled Pink.


• You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... the final words of the benediction are, Y'all come back now, ya hear............